


Gift

by Zacari Sweetdreams (ZachNightmare)



Category: South Park
Genre: HEA, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:10:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5306915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZachNightmare/pseuds/Zacari%20Sweetdreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tweek Tweak as has always been high strung but now in High school Depression hits him like a thunder bolt. Feeling miss understood and lost he tries to grapple with a reason to go on he keeps crying everyday and feels like it just isn't worth it he needs something to hold on to. Craig Tucker doesn't feel depressed he feels pissed off and alone before high school he had it all friends, cred ,respect, but now he just wants to watch it all burn he couldn't wait to get the hell out of this damn town. Both boys are struggling to find themselves  perhaps the can each be each others light in this seemingly dark world before they both fall over the edge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Please world let me die/please world just fuck off

**Author's Note:**

> not much to say except I hope you enjoy this it just came to me. also WARNING SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

         I got up slowly and looked at myself in the broken mirror standing before me. “No m-m-more” I said shaking and crying. I went to my closet and got grabbed a shirt from the hanger as I did I thought I felt a hand. “AHHHHHHH NO DON’T COME ANY CLOSE-R-R-R” I said screaming with tears I shakily hugged myself as I saw there was no hand and cried again. of course no one wanted to touch him and worse he was actually was disappointed the hand wasn't real and attached to some creep in my closet.

        “I I I I gotta just” I said as grabbed a shirt and pants and got dressed in new clothes shakily trying to button his shirt but as always he failed. “d-damn” He said shakily trying to choke back tears. now all he had to do was go to school ....for what he hopped would be the last time.

***

         I threw the papers hard of the bridge and watched them scatter across the water to the lake below. “FUCK YOU” I said flipping off the water. Today was shit tomorrow will be shit and the day after will be shit. I hate this school town and everything and you think I’m bitching fuck you.

        I turned to my left as I felt I was no longer alone and looked and saw Tweek Tweak there. He looked disheveled, so normal and had on a sorrowful expression so, also normal. Today though he really looked different even though he looked the same. “Hey what’s up?” I asked as nicely as I could.

      “....sorry I can leave leave you alone if you want me to” He said looking like I just hit him the way he looked made me want to a little but, I also wanted to apologize fuck it. “what is your problem I just asked what was up.” I said annoyed to him. “I’m I’m sorry...” was all he could muster before he rested his head on the bridge’s side I could hear him crying slightly.

      “ What is your problem stop crying!” I yelled at him. He lifted his head and weakly said “I’m go-o-onna k-k-k-k-kill my-selfff” He said shakily to me. what the what the fuck did he just say did he say. “dude what the fuck” I said to him calmly and evenly clearly Tweek did not need to be set off right now. “you asked gah me what was up that-thats what’s up” he said shaking like a leaf.

      I was seriously taken aback by what he said fuck OK lets just try to keep Tweek calm. “OK so then I’m guessing your gonna jump?” I said carefully.

***

      he wants me to I can see it he wants me to jump BUT I CAN’T HE IS HERE WATCHING ME I HAVE AN AUDIENCE THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE JUST ME NOW I HAVE SOMEONE WATCHING ME WHAT IF HE CALLS HIS FRIENDS AND THEY CALL THIER PARENTS ,THE SCHOOL THEY ALL WANNA WATCH “TOO MUCH PRESSURE” I cried out balling falling to my knees then to the ground curled in a ball holding my head. “shut up shut up shut up” I cried telling my thoughts to be quiet.

***

     dammit that wasn't right to say FUCK I knew that I just ugh he is really starting to piss me off maybe I should just let him jump....no that I can’t belive I thought that “fucking asshole” he said to himself about himself he was angry angry at a lot of things but Tweek...Tweek was innocent. “whats to much pressure” I asked him as he shacked on the ground.

     “doing i-t-t-t-t-t-t in front of you” He said shaking more. “I can turn around” I said evenly and readied myself as I turned around having myself turn around slightly just enough so i can grab him if he tries to I don’t want him to die....he is innocent. He stood up slowly and tears flowing nodded agreeing to my terms.

***

      Craig Tucker is okay with me dying....sounds right I smile at this realization killing myself is the right call i laughed slightly and got to the edge of the bridge. This was it he was gonna finally be at peace he felt happy and I then I tipped forward.

***

      I grabbed his as soon as he started and held him as he flailed and screamed in my arms he was kicking and screaming and just panicking. “calm down CALM DOWN no I mean please calm down” I said catching myself before I yelled at Tweek again he started crying hard “GAH WHY WHY GAH” He kept crying.

      “stop!” I said as I placed a hand on his head and started running my fingers through his hair. He stopped crying.

***

     The way Tucker held me he adjust his arms as he sat down and I did with him having no choice as he held me close and was running fingers through my hair. I felt so so calm I don’t know why I felt myself shaking less. I just wanted to stay here I felt myself get tired and closed my eyes.

***

     “fucking god dammit” I said I slipped out from under Tweek and let him lay down on the bridge. “what the fuck” He started shaking a little. “ugh” I sighed and took off my jacket and layed it across him. he shook a little less “FUCK” I said as I kicked him gently. He sat up and clutched my jacket to him.

      “dude get up let me take you home” I said annoyed. He nodded and stood up and I smacked on the back of the head. He cried a little and looked like I just beat him senseless. I felt bad but I had to say this it was making me boil with rage “DON’T KILL YOURSELF GOT IT” I said forcefully to him. He nodded crying but stopped as he looked at me.

      “dude what!” I said pissed at his starting. “GAH sorry I just I wanted to thank you” He said shaking clutching my jacket. I sighed and stepped closer to him. “your welcome lets go I’ll walk you home i won’t say anything just no, understand?” I asked him as I put my hand on his back steering him to start walking he quickly started to with me on the way to his house.

      “Craig” he whispered to me. “yeah I said looking at him. “can you be my friend...I mean since you stopped I....sorry ”He asked tearing up a little. I was seriously pissed at him I saved his life and he still acts like a hurt animal TRUST ME DAMMIT. “you are my friend Tweek” I said solemnly and annoyed. “re-re-re-really GAH” he said looking at me with wide eyes.

      That bastard this look it fucking shattered all my anger and that made me angry? no I felt relieved so relieved. “yeah your my friend Tweek in fact here” I said handing a piece of paper I wrote my number on. “call me when ever or whatever” I said flashing a quick smile and then resumed my scowl.

      He smiled at me and then shaking less said “so I just ca-ll you when ev-ever” He said beaming with a smile. I thought I was gonna be mad again but instead surprising to me I smiled back. “yes whenever you want I promise I’ll pick up and we can talk or hang or whatever” I said quickly resuming my scowl. He beamed wide and gingerly hugged me. “th-th-thank GAH y-y-ou” he said smiling hugging my close.

***

      I felt him hug me back it made me feel so so happy for once I really didn't feel so bad I even felt calm. “your welcome” I looked up as he flashed me another smile and let it hang a little longer then last time. I wanted to call him right now I didn't wanna stop i can’t NO I CAN’T RIGHT NOW I’LL GO MAD WITHOUT HIM RIGHT NOW. “WAIT PLEASE CAN WE GO SOMEWHERE PLEASE!” i said to him fast.

***

    “I yeah OK sure we can also ...” I said as I took my jacket from him. “sorry it’s cold” I said calm. He nodded again and looked at me a little crushed dammit. “HERE” I yelled putting the jacket on him making sure his hands went through the sleeves. “so you don’t wear it like a girl.” I said then he looked a tad uncomfortable and crushed probably over me just giving back like that I stopped and added “and so your arms are warm. if your gonna use it might as well use it right” I said flashing him a smile then quickly scowled. He nodded and smiled putting his hands in his pockets. “thanks for caring” He said calmly. “whatever” I said as we walked away from his house.


	2. Do you remember…? /What did you say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig Play video games like before ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy this I liked the simplicity of this chapter

“Tweek! Tweek!” I yelled to him he stopped walking what is he thinking about so hard?

 

***

            “No fair” I laughed as Craig got ahead of me we played a racing game after school. “Your just upset I won” He said as he flipped me off and laughed hard I did as well. “Hey how about this if you win I’ll call you King Craig for a whole month.” I said as I laughed.  “Deal” He said as he laughed “and if you win not that it will happen but what do you want?” He asked and smiled and looked at me. “Well I’ll tell you if I win” I said and laughed. “Alright you’re on! No way am I losing” He said focusing back on the TV. ….

***

            “TWEEK!“ I say shaking him. “Oh sorry gah I was just thinking about something..” He said defensively. “What were you thinking about?”   He turns and looks at me with a faint smile “King Craig” He said looking at me. “Oh OK” I said as I started walking and he walked next to me.

            “Were gonna walk around town OK?” I said looking back at him. “OK King Craig” He said to me as seriously as he could but he couldn’t for long and started to laugh I did as well. “So what did you want?” I asked thinking about that day.  He smiled at me “how about if I win I’ll request it again?” He asked smiling. A rematch this is a fun idea I haven’t played video games in awhile…. “You’re on!” I said flashing a smile.

 

***

            “So wait then what do I get if I win?” I said dusting off my game system and putting in the game. “I don’t know I could call you King Craig again?” He asked looking around my house really hasn’t changed much…nothing in this town does. “I’ll think of something” I say flashing a devilish smile and laugh he does as well. “Ok deal!” He said grabbing a controller I grabbed the other and we start!

***

            Tweek was struggling that was for sure there was no way I could lose…..but I for some reason remember that day ….

***

            “I won” I said simply as I turned to Tweek and smiled. “Congratulations King Craig” He said smiling.

***

            I looked at him and noticed a slight twitch I mean it’s Tweek but it looked like something more…it felt like something more. I have to know what it was a turn was coming up….I felt the joy stick slightly not too hard and Tweek flies past me I quickly speed up and try not to get ahead of him.

            The finish line was coming up and I …won I zoomed past him …I looked over at Tweek I see him shaking his hands. “My thumb slipped..” He said looking a tad upset.

***

            “Well let’s say you won I mean you were going to so what do you want” He said flashing me a smile this time it didn’t leave. “I well gah I I I I think I have to get back home my parents will worry. “OK well we can hang out more tomorrow” He said putting his hand on my shoulder and smiling. “OK” I said smiling nervously…oh god I gotta get out here NOW I HAVE TO GET OUT NOW. “Bye” I say as I turn around and go out his front door. “Bye” I hear as I leave.

***

            He leaves and I go back to lying on the couch….I have a lot of homework to redo…but I don’t want to …why did he leave. “What’s his deal why did he leave” I say as I put up the system. I go to my room and start doing my homework…again…guess I shouldn’t have thrown it off the bridge.

            “Why did he leave? Did I do something? “I said as I did my homework. I shouldn’t let it bother me I suppose it’s nothing..Wait did I “god dammit he has my jacket!” I completely forgot I guess it won’t hurt anything he can give it back tomorrow.

***

            I climbed the stairs slowly and went in my room and locked the door. I pressed my body against the cool door. “Gah that was close” I slid down the door and sat on the floor. “really close” I said smiling tearing up a bit playing with the sleeves of Craig’s jacket interlocking my hands one showing my hand the other tucked inside so only his sleeve is visible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda sad but nice


	3. I shouldn’t have told you/get away from me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up in a very very bad way as things are said perhaps to soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARINING: Depictions of vilonce at end of chapter it's not to bad but I still think it needed a warning.

          I opened my eyes and saw the floor. I must have slept on the floor I looked around and sat up noticing I was wearing Craig’s jacket. “Oh right” I sat up jittery and placed the jacket n my bed and went to my closet and got my clothes for the day.

  
***

  
         I yawned getting up off the desk adjusting the papers carefully. I got all of it done and I didn’t care. “There now to get my jacket back” I said getting dressed that I did care about.

  
***

  
        I shakily ran inside as it started to rain ….I was wearing his jacket it was so cold and I wanted to feel warm….I think…this this is to much! “Too much” I say diving into the nearest bathroom and lock the door and slide my back down the door for a split second I see my room but it shifts back to the bathroom.

  
      “Gah gah no no stop” I say hugging myself close trying to stop shaking. Yesterday played like a fast blur in my mind only certain parts slowing down…”he put his hand on my head…he put my arms through his jacket….he put his hand on my shoulder….I what else” I shake my head shaking putting my hands on floor shaking.

  
***

  
      I finished ripping up the homework I finished last night as the teacher asked for it. She gave me an angry look so I flipped her off and as usual I was sent to the guidance counselor. ..whatever. I got outside the door to see Tweek there so I sit in the chair next to him. “so what are you here for?” I asked looking down at my shoes. “I I I I was sort of um ccracking up…” He said stuttering a lot. His hands as I looked beside me were bracing the chair arms.

  
     I slowly took my hand and put it on the one next to me. “Hey calm down OK!” I said maybe a little to forcefully but he quickly took his hand away. He nodded swung his feet a little back and forth …he was wearing…  
“Hey can I have my jacket back” I asked looking at him.

  
***

  
        I looked at him nodded and took it off placing it in his lap and turned my head far off to the opposite side. “Why did you leave?” He asked hard. “I had to go” I replied calmly. “No you didn’t” he retorted back. I turned toward him at that moment and clinched my fists shaking then released them. “I c-c-can’t tell you why” I said trying to stay stiff. “tell me” he said standing over me I quickly got up and went to the bathroom again bolting he was right behind me.

  
***

  
       This idiot I’m trying to be his friend and I swear he just won’t let me. I pushed hard on the bathroom door before he can lock it pushing my way in. I turned around and locked the door. “WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM” I said heatedly getting close to him.  
We were near each other I was was so mad my fists were shaking I felt Tweek put his hand on my chest. “I like…you Craig” he said softly but firm….I raised my hand….and punched him.

  
***

  
      He he he just I “GAH” I said charging my whole body into him slamming him against the wall. He shifted for a second before putting his hand around my throat and punching me repeatly in the face my skull felt on fire I got a hold of one of his hands and bit him hard he lurched back and tackled me hard my body slammed into the floor and felt a sharp pain in my back.

  
***

  
    We started to wrestle each other each time one of us got on top the one on bottom got a square hit in the chest or jaw I was starting to fade as I stepped back from him ready to punch him in the jaw however I felt myself on my knees shaking I braced myself and looked ahead Tweek was blurry but in the same position. My whole body felt weak as I started to tumble I hope he is Ok….I’m fighting him one minute and the next I want to…

    ”I’m sorry” I see tweak fall down….”TTWEEKKK” I yell hoarse and fall down the bathroom floor feels cool against my face.

  
***

  
    My head my head my head  I cough a little bit my ribs feel bruised and cry a bit and clench my fists. “he he ppunched me” I coughed again and felt my nose bleeding my skull felt on fire my back hurt I could not get up the bathroom floor feels refreshing. I craned my neck slowly as it hurt to move and saw tweek in pretty much the same position. “I hope y-your OK I’m sorry I t-t-told y-you” I say coughing and stuttering I close my eyes and let sleep take me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well let me just say this this isn't the end


	4. Time stands still in hell/Living in hell and I want out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing of wounds physically and the start of healing emotionally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one actually made shed a couple of tears while writing it just feels honest if you know what I mean.

       I wake feeling stiff I don’t want to open my eyes ….the last thing I remember oh god oh god “Gah” I said shaking barely. I open my eyes the room is dull lifeless except for machines humming. “You’re awake” I hear to my side. I can’t really move my neck much but I see a bed next to mine.

  
    “This is like from when …everyone had a bet who would win…in a fight …me or you…remember?” I ask slowly looking up at the ceiling.  “yeah I remember that they kept egging us on…..Tweek…I’m sorry….i I didn’t mean to punch you….I mean I didn’t know what else to I mean” He stopped talking.

  
***

  
    I flip off the ceiling it hurt but was worth it I can’t think of the right fucking words. “This was just stupid” I say almost in a yell. “nnot stupid …screwed up…I I’m sor-“ I interrupt him and say “NO I fucked up I shouldn’t of hit you it took a lot of …courage to say that I’m sorry”  I tear up a little I can’t really move my neck ….I wonder if he can …how bad is he.

  
    “I Crraig it was a kisss” I hear from beside me. “My eyes open wide and I feel my body tense up not from pain but guilt. What did he mean it was a “wait you mean the bet?” I ask softly. I don’t hear a response.

  
***

  
    Today I can move my neck I sit up in bed and turn to my side “Craig is sleeping” I say turning my back to him in the bed shaking. “I ‘m so stupid…..why did he save me….now I bet he wishes he hadn’t….” I cry softly. “I would still save you” I hear softly. I turn around quick as I can and see Craig on his side looking at me.

  
    Our beds are almost right beside each other….like a decent sized bed. “I I’m so sorry Tweek ….and I owe you this you won” He says leaning forward kissing me softly. I feel like I’m flying I can feel myself crying a bit. This kiss I feel it deepen …..IS ISIS S ISS SSIS CRAIG DEEPING THIS KISSWHATIFITSTOHARDWHATIFHETAKESITBACKSOMUCHPPPREE preassureeee I feel calmmm. Craig is holding myyyy hannnddd.

  
***

  
    I pull away slowly and wipe the tears from his eyes and mine…..”you you won a lot more back then you just always left before you could cash in..” I look into his eyes I don’t see a color I don’t even really see eyes…..I see him. I quickly let go and turn around. “I’m so sorry Tweek” I close my eyes trying to go to sleep. “I forgive you Craig” is the last thing I hear before sleep takes me.

  
***

  
    Today is the day …..I get dressed my parents are coming soon…Craig’s too if I am gonna say something ITHASTOBENOWNOWNOW. “CRAIGILIKKKEYOUSTILLLL” I yell in his direction. He turns around after taking off his coat. He places it around me and looks at me and gives me a hug. “Tweek” is all he says before he walks out the door.

  
***

  
    I throw my entire backpack in the river “FUCK YOU” I say tears streaming down my face barely but still visible I start to rip up my English book wadding up various parts of it and throwing it off the bridge. I feel myself being hugged from behind…”what the fuck” I stop and drop the book feeling calm. “my turnnnn too save youuuu” I hear Tweek say in my ear I can’t help but cry….I turn around and cry on his shoulder….what the fuck is wrong with me.

  
***

  
    I won’t let go I woon’t leave I run my fingers down his back. “I’m herreeee and I forggiveee youuuu” I hear him cry a little harder but he won’t let many tears fall. “It’s OK let’s just sit down here for awhile. So we both sit down next to each other. “Tweek...” he says softly yeah” I ask. “Thank you….” He says slowly. “You’re welcome after all you’re my friend” I say back. “Yeah your mine…”he says and I look and see a slight smile…then it’s gone in a flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> healing is a personal process how fast depends on the person


	5. My Other Half/My Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig is recovering and having trouble. Tweek chases soem demons of his own but tries to be there for Craig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like how this one turned out

     I feel broken….well that was a douche thing to say “asshole” I say crying a bit looking in the mirror...it’s been a week since Tweek….at the bridge…the second time. My phone is ringing…..”What” I say answering it. “Hi Craig good morning how do you feel” I could hear the smile in his voice…this has been going for a week ever since the bridge….Tweek said it would make me feel better…

  
    “I feel …broken” I said flipping myself off in the mirror. “I can come over in a little bit I’ll be there okkk” “whatever….OK” I said hanging up.

  
***

  
    I was gonna kill myself I still want to…but the feeling isn’t as strong anymore now ever since I saw Craig crying on that bridge. “I I I want to make him feel better …I l..” I stop talking and shake my head shakily getting dressed. “Craig needs me I need to h-hurry and get there” I say buttoning my last button shakily.

  
***

  
    I got up….went to down stairs…cried like a stupid tool and now I’m laying face down on the couch thank god I’m alone. I turn around and look at the ceiling and flip it off. “Hey c-Craig” I hear as Tweek sits down on the floor next to me. I turn to face him “what is it you didn’t have to come” I say coldly.

  
***

  
    “Craig” I say wiping his face as a tear falls. “Why are you crying?” I say slowly this wasn’t the first time since after he has….Craig is always so tough….but he …he told me he can show when he is hurt around me. “Today is bullshit” he says turning over on the couch.

  
    I get up on the couch lay down and hug him from behind this isn’t the first time I have done this….I used to when we were young but lately since that day….he responds. He never responded when we were young. He turns over and hugs me back our chests are touching. “Tweek…I’m sorry” He says closing his eyes. I rub his back and close my eyes “it’s OK Craig just sleep”

  
***

  
    My dream started off simple me and Tweek are young again playing a game I lost. “I guess I lost OK what’s your prize.” “Um I actually I” “wait Tweek come on you always do this just this once tell me what you want from me OK” “…OK” “ok so what is it?” Tweek fumbles with his hands and blushes. “a a a a k-k-kiss” he was blushing really hard. I laughed and leaned over and kiss him it feels nice. He laughs after I pull away.

  
***

  
    My my dreeeam nooo nightmare I am having a nightmare. I feel myself wadding though water pushing against the current screaming. “STOPP STOP STOP PLEEEEASE” I feel myself shaking the water is hot it feels really hot I look down and notice the water is brown….”COFFFEEEE” I feel it start to boil screaming and crying “STOP STOP STOP CHEANNG CHANGEE” I screaamm out feeling my skin burn.

  
***

  
    “is he shaking” I say sleepily have asleep I drape my arms around him and hold him close his head laying on my chest and fall back asleep.

  
***

  
    I’m breathing heavy …it’s snowing oh “hey you OK? The coffee too hot?” I smile staring at the cup and looking at Craig sitting next to me. “No not at all” I blush and lean forward “I love you Craig” I kiss him softly. Craig smiles back at me and this time it doesn’t fade.

  
***

  
    “what the hell” I yawn and find myself…holding Tweek…again “this has to stop” I say getting up careful not to wake him as I walk around the house….I’m assaulted with these visions of me and Tweek playing together. “Fuck this” I say passing me and Tweek playing a racing game in the living room. I get to the living room and see me and Tweek on the stairs on the floor….right outside in the window..”FUCK” I say flipping them off and running up the stairs around me and Tweek.

  
    I get up stairs and see me and him running up and down the hall. “SON OF A BITCH” I yell passing the bathroom afraid of what I see and bolt for parents room…no me or Tweek we never played in here….I close the door and collapse on the bed. “what the fuck is happening” I stare up the ceiling and I the light…it makes an image of me and Tweek smiling…”OK I guess that’s OK…I guess” I said closing my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there we are


	6. I Believe in you / Because...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig take a walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sometimes thing progress so quickly its scary and magic sometimes you jump head first into the deep end and find yourself drowning.

 

                  I woke up to find myself laying in my parents bed. The visions of us running around the house weren't there I was completely alone . I heard my parents down stairs. were they talking? eating? whatever it doesn't matter I cant fight what I feel right now. I tip toe to my room and put on a heavy jacket and shoes.  I go to living room and quietly wake Tweek.  "Whhha whatt" Tweek Said kinda loud I quickly shushed him and told him to get dressed. He nodded and put on his shoes and a jacket and we both quietly left the house. 

                I closed the door as we both stepped out onto the porch. Tweek just looked at me I looked back and I felt so calm. "were going for a walk" I said taking Tweek by the hand. He blushed hard as we started walking. "Tweek ...I dont want you to talk to me anymore" I said and heard no response.  I looked to Tweek and he was crying I instantly felt bad..."this just I already feel like this isn't gonna work us being...friends I I don't want to be friends anymore." I said looking away as we continued walking he let go of my hand but I still heard him walking. 

 

***

 

              "I understand Craig" I said calmly so calmly I surprised myself. He turned and look at me the shell shock of my words. "you understand" He looked at me not sure how to explain it a mix of many emotions. I felt like I should feel like I should break inside but I .."I dont wannaaaa beeee yourrr friennddd annyymorreeeee" I said without tears but I could feel my eyes gettingg glassy. "Tweek I ...well Ill see you around" He looked away. I felt a feeling somethingggg is comminggg its burstinggg in my chestttt I havvve to syayy ittt I said iut beforeee and got hurt litrallyyy this timeee I woulddd finshhh.

              "CRAIGGGGG I LOOVVVEEE YOUUUUU I DONTTT WANTTT TO BEEE FRIENDSSS CUZ I WANTTT TO BEEE MOREEEE YOUUU SAY YOUR LIFEEE SUCKSSS YOU SAY IT ALL SUCKSSS YOU SAYYYY IT SUCKSSSS WELL LETT MEEE MAKEEE IT NOTTT SUCKKK!" I scream at him shaking. Craig turns to me glassy eyed. "THIS ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN OK I DONT L I DONT LI OK SO WHAT IF I DO I DONT NEED YOU I HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO DEAL WITH I DONT NEED A SUICIDAL LOVER ON MY HANDS TOO SO  BACK OFFF FUCK OFFF. He yells back. "YOUR JUST AFRIADDDD TO BEEE HAPPYY AREN'T YOU CUZ THENN YOU WOULD HAVE A REASON TO SMILEEEE TOO BEE HAPPY TO FEEEL GOOD INSTEAD YOU JUST WANNA RUN AND BE MISERABLE IN THIS SMALL TOWN YOUUUUUR WHOLEEE FUCCCKKINGGGG LIFEEEEEE!" I screamed back a I saw tears run down his face i felt them coming down mineeeee.

              "I WANT TO BE HAPPYY FUCK YOU I WANT TO FEEEL GOOD I JUST HAVE NOTHING TO BE HAPPYY ABOUT! I HAVE UNATTENTIVE PARENTS NO REAL FRIENDS BAD GRADES NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I WANNA DO AFTER SCHOOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THERE TO BE HAPPY ABOUT! ACTING LIKE A FUCKING KNOW IT ALL LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ABOUT THIS SHIT! " He yelled at me I feel my heart hurting for him he is shaking crying feeeling all this pain. "CRAIGGGG!" I yelled swinging my hand ....just likee he diddd to meee I quickly adjusted and instead of swinging I grabbed him to me.

 

***

 

            Go ahead and hit me you fucking asshole Im ready to.."Tww" I couldn't finish he's kissing me harddd I dont understand whats I this feels like every other time Ive been with Tweek. I cant help but remember both days at the bridge the walk home all of it I ...I lunge forward and wrap my arms around him. I kiss him hard and fast unbuttoning his jacket and shirt as we kiss. "CCCCRAIGGG" He yelps as I start to kiss his neck hard and run my hands over his bare back. "Tweek I dont wanna be friends anymore" I said looking at him I feel my cheeks burning. "I I doonntt wanttt to beee freindssss eitherrr" He says with the sweetest look I have ever seen its taking my fucking breath away dammit talk! "I I want .." I say holding him close I can feel his bare chest against me I hold him close afraid he will become cold.  I step away from him taking him in he looks fucking...perfect.

 

***

 

_few weeks later_

 

_***_

 

           I sip my coffee quietly as I eat my dinner in City Wok for some reason that morning with Craig was on my mind. I heard my cell ring and spill my coffee. I grab some napkins and get up packing up my dinner and heading out. answering my cell. "Hi Ill be there soooonn I justtt gott someething to eatt so you donnnt have to make me dinnerrr." 

 

***

 

         "love you mommmm be home soonnn" I heard him say as he walked away I didn't have the courage to talk to him. "it doesn't matter I screwed up" I said to myself. why couldn't I just go back? to before that fight that morning? I lost control...I told myself it was a comfrot then but really I did lose anything I was gonna gain...but it still ended with me just..

 

 

***

 

_few weeks earlier_

 

_***_

 

"Tweek I I cant do this this is too much" I quickly walk away not looking back.

 

***

 

_few weeks later_

 

***

 

         I got home and went to my room and sat at my desk. "Craigggg tried to talkkkk to me againnnn I wonder what aboutttt?" I close my eyes thinking of that day I cried at fristttt buttt thenn I realized someeething "Craiggg is scarreedd" I smiledd ath this thought and have been since he feeels the samee thats what to take away from this not the fact he rannn the fact he tried ..."Immm not madd Craigg" I whispered to myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the good thing about diving into the deep end is that there is a lifeguard to save you.


	7. Yes?/ WAIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig have a talk in an awkward place for them but maybe not so new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally sorry this took so long I hope you enjoy this

 

     "ttttooday is gonnna be gooood" Tweek said jittery buttoning up the last button. He walked out the door making sure to grab a nice jacket and sweater on the way. "ittt's cold today" he said with a nod. He walked slowly to school almost skipping he was in jubilant mood something about today felt right. In the past weeks his life felt off like an anchor was around his neck but,today was different.  He stops walking as he spots Craig at the bridge says nothing just stands on the bridge putting his hands on the bridge he looks down at the water. 

***

    Craig balled his fists and looked down that water as he heard footsteps approaching. " I want to be with you I,just don't know how BUT Im not gonna be with you" Craig says looking at the water. "whhhy not" Tweek asks slowly. "because we aren't meant to be together we never were. " He says closing his eyes as he feels a hand creep next to his. "C-Cr-Craig we have been friends since we were sm-small always next to each oth-other no one has bb-een closerr then usss" Tweek says slowly. 

Craig held his hand slowly "tweek...babe" he said taking his hand "Im sorry I ran away" He said breathing slowly. 

 

***

   Tweek says nothing looking down. "Tweek" Craig says slowly. "that that wasnt just homeworkkk was itt" Tweek says swallowing. Tweek turns as he sees Craig step back and turn around."youuu havent callled meee Ba-ba-ba-be in a longg timeee" the past few weeks played in his head. The talks,the hospital the kiss, the the question of the past how easily we clicked together....

   "IM IM IM S-S-S-ORRY WE BROKKEE UPPP!" He says crying not able to talk about it for so long he deserved it all that fight was payback it was everything he wouldn't say he knew it he said it before and he say it again . "I deserved it I DESERVED THAT DAY IN THE BATHROOM" He yelled crying. "what you said took alot of courage ...I meant that...." He says turning back then yelling out "BUT WE BROKE UP WE WEREN'T EVEN REALLY TOGETHER YOU WANTED IT END AND I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF BUT I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!"

    He steps up to Tweek getting in his face "WHY TWEEK DID YOU WANT TO DO IT WHY REALLY! TELL ME!" He says pressing on Tweek's chest hard. "I I I I gah ma-ma-made a mi-mi-mi-stake" He says crying hard. 

    My memory that last time that last race... me and craig were young we were racing. “I guess I lost OK what’s your prize.” Craig says turning to me “Um I actually I” I say stumbling over words shaking like a leaf today was the day I wanted to tell him so bad this day and he pushed me. “wait Tweek come on you always do this just this once tell me what you want from me OK” Craig said staring me down with his kind face. “…OK” I say slowly cut off not able to say anything. “ok so what is it?” he asks me slowly maybe upset. I fumbles with my hands as I feel my face flush up. “a a a a k-k-kiss” I said blushing really hard. he laughed and leaned over and kisses me it feels nice. He smiles and I laugh after he pulls away....but the rest..

***

     I stare at Tweek slowly....all of this ....the way I feel....its like a surge of lightning. I sigh slowly and start to speak. "things were so simple when we were small we would hangout together talk support each other and then we got older tried something else and and....it ended right...." Tweek stared at me as I talked.  "I wanted you out of my life and left we ended it that but the bridge...." I look down slowly and continue "seeing you say that I tried not to care but you YOU MADE ME GET EMOTIONAL!"  My fists shake and I grab Tweeks collar. "you said mistake!?" I ask him breathing hard "yyesss" He cries out.  "I I think so too we never should of broke up or we should of stayed the same whatever same thing" I say kissing him close to me. 

***

    I cry in his arms kissing him back shaking " I I l-l-love you Craig" I said leaning on him. "I love you to Tweek"

    

   

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short I know sorry about that plan to write more soon.


	8. First date GAH again/First date again..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig go on a date in a familiar spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Im only gonna talk a little about this Im sorry if them already dating was so far out of left no one saw it. Its a fair point but I did try to leave hints here and there and I hope it doesn't stop you from enjoying this story.

 

 

       If I could just erase the last few weeks of this month I would be so happy. I look out my window and even know there is no undoing that. I stand up and look in the mirror. "today we start over" I nod and get my jacket putting it on heading over to Tweek's house. I take steps closer and I just cant seem to walk up the driveway.

 

***

       Craiiig has been outside my house for almost five minutes just staring. I put on my shirt watching him his face is one I cant identify. I see the same face though on my own this this THIS IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE! IT SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD WE SHOULD JUST JUST GO SOMEWHERE BE TOGETHER! I slowly go down stairs trying hard not to trip as I make my way down the stairs as I reach the door I find myself staring at it. just just JUSTOPENITALREADY! I say shaking. 

 

***

 

      I breath deep getting to the front porch and reach to knock i make a fist and let it hang its like a taunt. "fuck you" I say to myself as it just hangs there. I undo my hand laying it flat against the door.

***

       I cant ICANTDOTHISITSTOMUCHWHATIFITGOESWRONGWHATIFITGOESRIGHTGAHHHHHH! I scream out as I place my hand on the door handle shaking causing it to jiggle a bit.

***

      I'm staring at this door doing nothing fuck you door. I look and see its shaking. "Tweek?" I whisper slowly.  "Tweek!" I yell a little louder. "yesss" I hear in a sad whisper. great now I feel bad...no I he didn't deserve to be yelled at. "sorry I was just making sure your OK are you OK...babe?" I say slowly putting both hands on the door listing for his response.

***

      I I cant help it Im crying I grip the door hard shaking causing it to shake a lot. "Craig I I love you but...do you think if it we didn't see each other that way would we be together?" I say with tears in my eyes. "I what do you mean?" I hear from the other side. "YOUKNOWTHATTHINGTHATMADEUSWHATTOBETOGETHER!" I scream out in frustration.

***

       I remember but, if Im really honest with myself that..."no Tweek I would..I would of asked you eventually" I say shaky at my thought. "wha..what do you mean" I hear him say. I open the door and look at him. "you cant be forced together it just happens and we would of been together at some point" I say slowly. "why whyyy do you think that? " he says staring at me. "I I mean come on Tweek we fought and got hurt and found out what douches the other kids were then we kept hanging out a lot, a lot a lot" He says creasing his eyebrows then his eyes go wide as he continues. "and yeah maybe that thing made it easier to realize but, it didn't define us! in fact Im positive I would have we would" I stop and take his hands looking into his eyes as I continue.

      "we would of gotten together Im sure if you think we wouldn't have been together because it was an accident it wasn't you were meant for me and I I was meant for you" I say hugging him close then I slowly kiss him as he relaxes I put a hand in his hair and smile and just like that its like I was in 4th grade again...

***

     I start breathing hard as he moves away and I look at him smiling at me. I grab his hand as we start walking into town I hear whispers words some familiar some not all saying the same. I stop walking. "Tweek?" I hear him say concerned. "something wrong babe?" I look at him and smile. "Just remembering something from a long time ago lets go get coffee" I say smiling at him as take his hand like we were kids again as I walk with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for long wait hope it was worth it this is a deeply emotional but short one.


End file.
